From the outside looking in, it can be difficult to imagine why a rape victim might ever protect their rapist. However, this is an incredibly complicated and delicate situation. There are nuances and emotional aspects at play that do not follow the strict rules of logic. A rape survivor may stay silent for many reasons, all of which are valid.
Trauma Response
A natural response to trauma is to do whatever it takes not to be put back in the same traumatic or life-threatening situation again. Natural survival instincts lead to three main reactions: fight, flight or freeze.
The freeze instinct can involve shutting down or avoiding decisions, such as the choice to speak out against the abuser. In this way, staying silent can act as a survival mechanism that is driven by trauma and is involuntary, rather than an active choice the victim is making to protect the rapist.
Fear of Further Harm
What may appear to outsiders as protecting the rapist could be fear of retaliation, further bodily harm or even death if the victim chooses to name his or her perpetrator. The individual has already been victimized in a terrible way by the rapist. It is only natural to be afraid of going up against the perpetrator publicly. The victim may also be hesitant to speak up due to a lack of safe escape options if he or she lives with the rapist.
Self-Blame
Feelings of guilt, shame and self-blame are commonly experienced by rape survivors. The victim may have fuzzy memories of what happened due to traumatic disassociation or the influence of substances. This can lead to the victim second-guessing themselves and losing the confidence to come forward with rape accusations.
Grooming or Confusion
The majority of rape victims know their rapists. Targets may have been groomed from an early age by pedophiles or perpetrators who use emotional manipulation to keep them quiet. This can lead to the victim being confused about the relationship they had with the racist and unwilling to come forward or admit they were raped.
Emotional Attachment
In other cases, the victim and rapist are in a close or romantic relationship with one another. Cases of spousal rape that involve feelings of love or emotional dependency can lead to confusion about consent and fear of losing the relationship.
Apprehension Regarding the Legal Process
Rape victims may be hesitant about coming forward due to apprehension regarding what the legal process will entail. It is not easy to bring a rape claim against an individual in the criminal or civil courts. It is something that takes a great deal of strength and courage.
Yet survivors should never feel ashamed if they choose to stay silent or even defend their rapists. This can feel like the safer option physically, emotionally and psychologically. It is a survival strategy born from the extreme trauma endured – not something that points to a lack of harm.
Get Personalized and Compassionate Legal Help
Rape is a terrible crime that can have a lifelong impact. If you’re ready to speak your truth and find closure by seeking justice as a rape survivor, contact The Mahoney Law Firm. Our Illinois sexual assault attorneys will work closely with you every step of the way, keeping your identity anonymous throughout your civil lawsuit against a perpetrator, if desired. We are here for you and with you. We will believe you. Request a free and confidential consultation today.